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My two younger brothers and I were in church every time the doors were open. On a stormy night, when I was eight, and afraid of the thunder and lightening, my dad helped me pray a profession of faith, I thought I was a Christian. But I grew up with many doubts.
I went forward every summer at Bible camp, or at Vacation Bible School. People always told me that I had already been saved and didn't have to get saved again, that I was calling God a liar.
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My dad was the director for Child Evangelism Fellowship in upper Michigan, and mom had 5-Day Clubs every year in our home. I got involved as a teenager and for 3 summers I taught 5-Day Clubs in many surrounding communities. I led many children to Christ.
At Bible College in 1979, at age 22, I had doubts after a message on Hell. I prayed, "Lord, if I'm not saved please save me!" I would study the Bible for Bible classes in college, but it was just a textbook and other then that, I never looked at it. I was still not reading my Bible or praying. I never was close to the Lord, yet I thought I was a Christian.
In 1996, I went forward in an evangelistic meeting and our pastor sent me to a back room with one of the ladies in our church. I prayed to rededicate my life to God. Still I didn?t have peace.
A few weeks and a lot of conviction later, I talked to our pastor and he suggested that I read through I John prayerfully. I didn't do it that night but finally I just couldn't stand it anymore. On August 31st, when I was having a terrible time getting to sleep I finally got out of bed and prayed. "Lord, I just don't know what's wrong with me," and I read I John. After a few hours of reading, I got into bed and I just gave in. "Lord, I know that you are the only way to heaven and without you I am lost." I finally saw myself as God saw me and I trusted Him. I knew all the right verses and knew all about Jesus in my head but I had never trusted Him in my heart. I finally had peace and was able to fall asleep.
The next morning was Sunday and as we were getting ready for church, I told Joe. "I got saved last night!" He was very surprised because he hadn't known all the conviction I had been going through for so long. I got baptized two weeks later. If I had died before August 31st 1996, I would have gone to hell thinking that I was a Christian. I was religious but lost. Matthew 7:23 Jesus says "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you, depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
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